Post by Trog on Aug 22, 2020 19:11:01 GMT
I REALLY loved this joke!:
Victorian England. A newly commissioned cornet reports to the colonel of his cavalry regiment. Standing at attention in his splendid uniform he salutes smartly.
‘At ease, dear boy’, smiles the colonel. ‘And for God’s sake, relax! We don’t stand on ceremony or spit and polish here… the troop sergeants drill the men, and we officers sleep in and have fun all day! Mondays we drink! We all head for the Mess, where we guzzle port, whiskey, champagne, wine, brandy, vodka- the lot until we’re completely blotto!’
‘Actually, Sir, I don’t drink.’
‘Ah. Well, Tuesdays, we gamble! We all head for the Mess, and play baccarat, pontoon, vingt-et-un, bridge, poker- huge stakes! Absolute fortunes have been won and lost at the turn of a card!’
‘Erm…I don’t gamble, Sir.’
‘Ah. Well… Wednesdays! You’ll love Wednesdays! We all head for the Mess, and have in a LOVELY selection of popsies! Gorgeous little tarts- all shapes, all sizes, all colours, all ages, all dressed in their frillies, and we…
‘Actually, sir, I don’t like… using women in that fashion.’
‘Good God, my boy!’, says the colonel. ‘What are you, gay or something?’
‘Actually, Sir, no, I’m not.’
‘Ah’, says the colonel, shaking his head sadly. ‘ Well, in that case, you’re not going to like Thursdays much either.’
Victorian England. A newly commissioned cornet reports to the colonel of his cavalry regiment. Standing at attention in his splendid uniform he salutes smartly.
‘At ease, dear boy’, smiles the colonel. ‘And for God’s sake, relax! We don’t stand on ceremony or spit and polish here… the troop sergeants drill the men, and we officers sleep in and have fun all day! Mondays we drink! We all head for the Mess, where we guzzle port, whiskey, champagne, wine, brandy, vodka- the lot until we’re completely blotto!’
‘Actually, Sir, I don’t drink.’
‘Ah. Well, Tuesdays, we gamble! We all head for the Mess, and play baccarat, pontoon, vingt-et-un, bridge, poker- huge stakes! Absolute fortunes have been won and lost at the turn of a card!’
‘Erm…I don’t gamble, Sir.’
‘Ah. Well… Wednesdays! You’ll love Wednesdays! We all head for the Mess, and have in a LOVELY selection of popsies! Gorgeous little tarts- all shapes, all sizes, all colours, all ages, all dressed in their frillies, and we…
‘Actually, sir, I don’t like… using women in that fashion.’
‘Good God, my boy!’, says the colonel. ‘What are you, gay or something?’
‘Actually, Sir, no, I’m not.’
‘Ah’, says the colonel, shaking his head sadly. ‘ Well, in that case, you’re not going to like Thursdays much either.’