Learning how to socialise well in a small town

My small town experiences are not good.

I found in particular the young males often to be crude, ignorant and hyper aggressive - the strange thing being that this almost seemed to be the desired behaviour.

'Things to do' were more or less limited to visiting a pub, somewhere, of which there were many and where everybody could usually be found.

There is this quote often erroneously attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt about people talking about ideas, events or other people. In small towns they never progress much beyond talking about other people. And they always seemed to know more about me than what I feel comfortable with. Like what I had for supper last night, and stuff. Are they constantly watching me, or what?

I am in fact a hugely unsociable person, so a small town seems like a good fit for me. Truth is that in a large city I can choose the (few) people I actually want to associate with. In a small town you associate with everybody willy-nilly. There is nowhere where you can be so alone as in a big city.

I only have experience with small towns on the Transvaal and Free State highveld, mostly with an industrial or mining background. So maybe it is not always like this. But I kind of doubt it.